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  • The Holding of Pain

    This piece aims to highlight the internal process of moving through emotionally painful moments in our lives. It highlights what it may look like to validate both our emotional experiences and that of a fellow human, get curious about it, hold true to our values, and seek to find common humanity.

    The holding of pain.
    My value not seen.
    My worth not acknowledged.
    Not seen.
    Not cherished.
    Not held.
    This is the pain.

    I do know my own worth.
    I do know my value.
    I do recognize my contributions.
    That is not lacking.

    And yet, that does nothing to soften my pain.
    The pain comes from the other.
    Not from within my own self.
    It came out of their blindness.
    Their Ignorance.
    Their Pain.
    Not mine. Theirs.

    How do I hold a pain that’s not mine when it feels like it is mine?
    Can I be gracious?
    Can I be kind?
    Can I hold my own pain without having to save them from theirs or insisting they erase theirs for my own benefit?

    Shared pain.
    A strange unexpected connection.
    Perhaps there is comfort in that.
    It’s not just my pain.
    Both are in pain.
    Me AND the other.

    That shifts something in me.
    My compassion awakens.
    My loving of them re-ignites.
    I can be kind.
    I can understand that we both hold some pain.

    And in the holding of shared pain, even if different, we are connected.
    That is enough.
    The knowing that somehow somewhere,
    In different places, we both hurt.

    I feel less alone.
    Less bitter.

    And now I can see.
    I can recognize.
    I too have been blind.
    Blind to their pain.
    Blind to their ways of holding themselves through this pain.

    It would still be nice to be seen.
    No longer a requirement though.
    I can hold them with kindness.
    I can have compassion.
    I can sense their pain.
    That is all I need for this moment,
    To hold my own pain.

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