The holidays are often a complex time for many people. On the one hand, there is a sense of joy in the air, while on the other hand, sorrow and grief because of loss, dysfunctional family dynamics, or other traumatic family events and experiences. The following are some tips for how to navigate family trauma around the holidays.
Navigating Family Trauma Tip #1: Have an Escape Plan
It’s important to not isolate over the holidays. Being around loved-ones who support you and care for you can be a comfort. Having said that, you’ll also want to have a plan that will allow you to get away from crowds and holiday festivities when you feel yourself become triggered or emotional. This may mean you drive separately to an event so you can leave when YOU want and need. Don’t be afraid to set boundaries and stick to them.
Tip #2: Feel Your Feelings
The holidays mean everyone is supposed to ‘put on a good face’ and act merry and jolly, right? No. It’s important to really feel your feelings, not ignore them or pretend they don’t exist. We can only heal from trauma by facing the full extent of our darkness. If you had plans to spend time with loved-ones but suddenly feel angry, overwhelmed, anxious or depressed, do not deny these feelings and try to put on a good face so others have a good time. It’s better to gracefully bow out of the plans and be genuine with your feelings.
Navigating Family Trauma Tip #3: Make Self-Care a Priority
When we relive our trauma and deal with big emotions, it’s easy to let self-care slip and eat poorly, drink too many sugary and alcoholic beverages, and get far too little sleep. Dealing with trauma takes energy and mental clarity, and that will require you to treat your heart, mind, AND body with gentleness and care.
You may also want to speak with someone. A therapist can help you navigate your feelings and offer coping strategies. If you’d like to explore treatment options, please reach out to us today.
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