Have you been wondering whether to reach out to a nearby counselling therapist for self-esteem struggles? If so, I’d encourage you to take this step today.
At Empower Counselling Services Winnipeg we work hard to provide you with resources such as this blog to help you feel better and more confident about yourself. Please let us know if you have any questions for us after reading this blog. Click Contact and Booking to get in touch.
How We Feel Matters
How we feel about ourselves and how we see ourselves, i.e. our self-esteem, has a significant impact on our relationships, work performance, and overall life-achievements.
You’ve likely heard people talk about a healthy self-esteem. But what exactly does this mean?
Some people think it means you are okay with what you see when you look in the mirror. Others think you must accomplish something big in your life to have a good self-esteem. E.g. you must be rich, you must have a prestigious job, you must look a certain way, etc.
But the truth is, having a healthy self-esteem means you like and appreciate yourself just as you are, faults and all. A good self-esteem can be the difference between being a happy, resilient person who is able to face life’s challenges head-on, and someone who suffers from depression and anxiety and is often overwhelmed with life. Having said that, not every person who struggles with depression and anxiety has low self-esteem. And in some cases depression and anxiety can be the cause for low self-esteem. It’s a bit like the chicken and egg thing, it’s not always clear which came first. However, low self-esteem can certainly be a factor for causing depression and anxiety.
If you have or are currently struggling with low self-esteem, here are some things you can do to give your self-esteem a much-needed boost:
Face Reality. Focus on Truth
Notice that I did not say The Truth. There are many situations where more than one thing can be true at the same time, and truth should be used as an umbrella term; i.e. truth is on a spectrum. Such is the case when it comes to self-esteem; i.e. there can exists black and white on the outer rim of the truth-pendulum and a whole lot of grey in between.
Does your mind speak to you in absolutes such as, “I’m an idiot,” “I’m not pretty enough or smart enough?” Truth is, we all act imperfectly from time-to-time, and most human beings on this planet can find someone who is smarter and more attractive than they are. But on a truth-continuum, you can be smart while someone else can also be smarter than you in specific areas. It’s likely that you are much smarter than that person in other areas. No person is super smart in every area.
If you’re going to work on your self-esteem, you need to first recognize that your mind often lies to you with these generalities and negative thoughts. It may be a very convincing lie from your mind’s point of view, but it’s still a lie.
To become familiar with reality, make a list of 10 of your strengths and 10 of your weaknesses. If you have a hard time coming up with your strengths, think about what others have said about you. Examples may include: You’re a good listener, you are thoughtful, you cook a mean burger.
When you’re done making the list, you’ll see there are plenty of things you are quite fine at, and some things you are really good at. Like really good! And, some of the weaknesses may not be as weak as you have believed, and other weaknesses may be things you can absolutely change over time and with some effort.
Perfection doesn’t exist. Now you may think all those Hollywood A-listers that are on the cover of magazines are the epitome of perfection, but they are air-brushed, photoshopped, and have a team of people following them around so their hair is never out of place. That’s not real life for the average person.
Stop spending your energy trying to have the perfect face, body, bank account, career, children, or relationships. None of that exists. Focus your energy on achieving attainable goals such as obtaining your degree and enjoying hobbies.
Get to Know Your Sporty Self
We spend so much of our lives comparing ourselves with others that we don’t really take the time to get to know ourselves. Beyond strengths and weaknesses, who are you as a person? As a unique individual? What makes you happy or excites you? What hobbies do you enjoy? What kind of sibling, partner, parent… are YOU?
The more you know about yourself, the more chances that you’ll find things out you really like about yourself.
If you would like to speak to someone about your self-esteem, please be in touch with me. I’d be happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
Would love to hear from you even if you’re not ready to make a commitment to an appointment. Feel free to call or email me today to request a FREE 15-minute phone or video consultation.