How does self-esteem affect mental health?
Low self-esteem can contribute to anxiety, depression, unhealthy relationships, and even addiction. When we don’t feel worthy or good enough, it becomes harder to set boundaries, cope with stress, or believe we deserve support. Over time, this can lead to emotional burnout and mental health struggles. The good news? Self-esteem can be rebuilt—especially with the help of therapy.
Most people don’t walk around thinking, “I have low self-esteem.”
But many do walk around thinking things like:
“I’m not good enough.”
“Other people seem to have it together—what’s wrong with me?”
“If I say no, they’ll leave.”
“I don’t really matter.”
These quiet inner beliefs can shape everything—how we show up in relationships, how we handle stress, how we cope, and whether we reach for help or hide our pain.
And while low self-esteem isn’t a mental health condition on its own, it’s deeply woven into the emotional landscape of things like anxiety, depression, people-pleasing, and burnout.
Let’s talk about how self-esteem really works—and how therapy can help you rebuild it from the inside out.
What Is Self-Esteem, Really?
At its core, self-esteem is the way we see and relate to ourselves. It includes things like:
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Our sense of worthiness
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How we handle criticism and failure
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What we believe we deserve in relationships
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Whether we set boundaries—or let them slide
Someone with healthy self-esteem might not feel confident all the time, but they’re able to hold onto a steady sense of “I matter, even when I mess up.”
Someone with low self-esteem, on the other hand, may carry an ongoing feeling of not enoughness. They might constantly compare themselves to others, doubt their abilities, or feel like they have to earn love and approval by always being “good.”
This inner lens—how we feel about ourselves—can quietly shape every part of our mental health.
Before and After: J’s Story*
(Fictionalized for illustrative purposes)
Before:
J always second-guessed everything. In meetings, she’d rehearse what to say for ten minutes, then stay silent anyway. Afterward, she’d ruminate for hours, convinced she looked stupid. No one ever said she didn’t belong—she just never quite believed she did.
After:
Therapy didn’t erase her self-doubt overnight, but it gave her something better: a soft, steady voice inside that said, “Even if you mess up, you still matter.”
And slowly, J started raising her hand—even if her voice trembled.
How Low Self-Esteem Affects Mental Health
Self-esteem isn’t just about “thinking positively.” It runs deeper than that. It’s about the messages we internalized, often from a very young age—messages that told us whether we were lovable, safe, or important.
And when those messages were shaming, critical, or absent altogether, our nervous system adapted.
Here’s how that can play out over time:
Relationship Struggles and Disconnection
Human beings are wired for connection—but low self-esteem can make it hard to let people in. You might:
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Avoid social situations because you feel inadequate
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Stay in unhealthy relationships because you don’t believe you deserve better
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Have trouble asserting your needs or setting boundaries
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Over-give, hoping to feel needed or valued
Over time, this can lead to chronic loneliness, burnout, or resentment—especially when your needs keep going unmet.
Anxiety and Overthinking
When you don’t trust your own worth, everything feels like a test you might fail.
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Did I say the wrong thing?
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What if they’re mad at me?
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Maybe I should’ve tried harder…
This kind of over-analysis often shows up as anxiety symptoms, especially social anxiety or performance anxiety. You might feel like you have to earn your place everywhere you go—at work, in relationships, even in therapy.
Before and After: M’s Story*
(Fictionalized for illustrative purposes)
Before:
M had a good job, kind friends, and a supportive partner—but still felt like an imposter. Every compliment felt like a trap. Every mistake felt like proof that he wasn’t enough.
After:
In therapy, M began tracing those beliefs back to a childhood of walking on eggshells. The fear of “messing up” wasn’t irrational—it was a survival skill. But now, he was ready to build a life that didn’t revolve around fear.
Depression, Shame, and Self-Criticism
Low self-esteem can feel like a fog you can’t shake. The voice inside says:
“Why bother?”
“I’ll never get it right anyway.”
“I’m just too much—not worth helping.”
When that voice runs unchecked, it can spiral into depression, hopelessness, or deep shame. You might isolate, stop pursuing things you love, or feel stuck in a cycle of self-sabotage.
Substance Use and Numbing Out
Some people turn to alcohol, weed, food, or scrolling as a way to soothe the pain of feeling not-good-enough. It’s not about weakness—it’s about survival.
If no one ever taught you how to feel safe in your own skin, numbing out can become a way to cope.
But over time, it only reinforces the cycle of self-blame and disconnection.
Can Therapy Help with Low Self-Esteem?
Absolutely.
But here’s the truth:
Building self-esteem isn’t about becoming a confident, polished, perfect version of yourself.
It’s about remembering who you were before the world convinced you you weren’t enough.
Working with a therapist in Winnipeg can help you:
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Identify where those self-critical beliefs came from
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Understand how they’ve shaped your life
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Learn how to challenge them, gently and consistently
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Rebuild a relationship with yourself that’s grounded, not performative
Sometimes, low self-esteem is rooted in trauma—especially if you grew up feeling unsafe, unseen, or like you had to shrink yourself to survive. If that resonates with you, you may benefit from working with a therapist who understands trauma, or the lingering effects of emotional neglect.
Therapeutic approaches like EMDR and anxiety therapy can help you heal the deeper wounds that shaped your self-perception—and support you in rebuilding a stronger, more compassionate relationship with yourself.
For some people, struggles with self-esteem are deeply tied to experiences around gender identity or sexual orientation. If you’ve ever felt like who you are isn’t accepted, safe, or fully seen, it can take a real toll on your sense of worth. At Empower Counselling Servies, we offer LGBTQ+ allied therapy that honours your identity and creates space to heal the wounds of rejection, shame, or invisibility—without having to explain who you are.
You Are Not Broken. You Are Becoming.
At Empower You Therapy in Winnipeg, we believe you don’t need to be “fixed.”
You just need space to reconnect with the parts of you that already know your worth—but were never allowed to speak.
We work with adults of all genders and backgrounds, offering a warm, inclusive space to explore your story at your own pace. Whether your self-esteem struggles are rooted in trauma, people-pleasing, perfectionism, or just the exhaustion of never feeling good enough—we’re here.
Let’s rebuild something strong, real, and true—together.
Ready to get started?
Reach out here to connect with a therapist who truly sees you.
* All client stories are fictional and created for illustrative purposes. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental.